Dehumanizing Urban Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. From the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a lady might opt to be having a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds regarding the contestants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister did share that is n’t movie on her behalf Facebook page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It absolutely was just the opposite: my sister ended up being upset at the round’s subject and also the responses offered. My sibling penned:

“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you need to be skinny/fit become stunning, to be desired, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is never OK!”

My sister tagged me personally in this article once you understand my back ground in fat studies and sex studies (so when a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur along with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot of this Family Feud game board with all the six top responses: “Fatty got money” (3out of 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat guys — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling down fatphobic urban myths had been obviously perhaps maybe not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat figures to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each of the top six many popular responses in order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and bad for guys of size.

“Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable With Their Cash or Energy

The misconception: the fact this misconception is considered the most popular regarding the six provided responses — 3of the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it is in films, politics, or popular tradition.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anybody they wanted decide to get with a disgusting man that is fat right?

This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for the complete large amount of fat guys, putting almost all their value as individuals to the cash or energy they could or might not have.

More Radical Reads: going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person within the picture

The facts: While you will find, needless to say, many people whom just seek relationships for the money or energy, the fact is that frequently, individuals will decide to get having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is significantly bangbros xvideos less frequently put on thin or “fit” males, unless of program that person is famous to own cash or energy. Nonetheless it’s much easier for folks to know two thin or usually appealing individuals being together because they’re interested in one another than when a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become by having a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.

“She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat People

The misconception: Using this misconception, we come across just exactly exactly how individuals make an effort to simply simply take away fat people’s agency. It means that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this misconception is really an associated fatphobic myth: that most fat individuals love to consume plenty of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to consume food are fat.

The reality: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — may be and sometimes are interested in a wide number of individuals of most size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t totally fatphobic and sizeist.

And also as when it comes to indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

“She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All fat guys, in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they are able to ever have. Such men’s lovers would just utilize them to show up more appealing in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as previously mentioned above, nobody could conceivably take a relationship having a man that is fat they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The facts: just like many people might pursue a fat guy for money or energy, many people might just pursue fat males to look more appealing to other people. In fact, though, this is apparently less common than this response could have us think.

I’ll keep saying the idea, just because We seem like a record that is broken many individuals really find fat males appealing!

“She’s In Love”

This is the only real truly mocking-free solution included in the most effective responses from the board. That by itself is illustrative regarding the entrenched fatphobia on display into the other countries in the responses. In addition is available in at 9/100, which means that away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the clear answer distributed by just nine individuals.

What exactly are fat men viewing likely to think of their health and their well well worth as people?

He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Great For Cuddling However Intercourse

The misconception: this will be one particular “positive stereotypes” many of us you will need to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else regarding the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, among the game show participants offered a solution that wound up not being in the board: that a female would date a man that is fat he was great at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, reacted just as if it was probably the most answer that is outrageous the whole world, using the other participants plus the market laughing in contract. In that way, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t become seen as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The facts: the matter with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not remain in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate anybody who really wants to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only redeeming quality our tradition enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% of that time — is they’re like fluffy teddies. even though many fat males are certainly “warm and cuddly,” it is harmful to allow them to see this as their only good trait.

Further, just what somebody perceives as being that is“good “bad” at intercourse is frequently totally subjective and situated in individual choice. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches fatphobia that is systemic.

“He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Want To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to ruin the “only sure thing” they will have within their present relationship. This basically means, they realize that no one else may wish to be using them.

The reality: To bluntly put it, this really is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.

As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat guys are in the same way likely as virtually any males to cheat to their lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, nobody will give them the opportunity to cheat to their partners, which, once again, can be drastically wrong to assume.

As with every fables and stereotypes about a small grouping of individuals, these five study responses on Family Feud reveal the blatant human body terrorism fat males are afflicted by within our tradition.

Despite just just what these urban myths need you think, fat men’s figures are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to a lot of other folks. This truth shouldn’t be so very hard to assume, nevertheless the undeniable fact that it absolutely was addressed as a result on a tv program illustrates so just how profoundly fatphobia has pervaded culture.

While you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me personally, it’s a reminder that people have actually substantial work to do in order to attain any type of across-the-board amounts of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these urban myths and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea as opposed to mainly accepted norms.

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